Settling the score

Falloutboy: Happy birthday!
Birthdaygirl: Oh thanks, but you do know it's not til the 18th right? LOL
Falloutboy: I know. But I thought I'll get ahead. You'll be partying and I might not be able to catch you.
Birthdaygirl: Thanks. So how you been?
Falloutboy: I'm okay. Just a little upset about your blog.
But I thought about it... i guess it is better that way :) You got that out of your chest at least right...Just as long as youre ok na.
Birthdaygirl: You should know that whatever I wrote is true right. But also imagine the scenario. I was still drunk when I wrote that. It was a day before you leaving and there was just too much drama. I was drunk. Hello.
Falloutboy: But that part where I can’t defend myself bothers me.
... like i said before.. it was because i know our lives are in different places already.. i tried not to see it that way. but that incident showed me that we are in different places... so i started randomly enjoying my stay...
...true wanted to be with you more.. but its just that..
...i cant be....
...you have your life.. i have mine... youre home... im in a foreign land...
...youll be in a happier place without me :)
...get me? :)
Birthdaygirl: all that... when we both knew we want to be with each other.
Birthdaygirl: you dint have to push me away like that you know.
Falloutboy: well you pushed first :)
you cant help also how that incident completely changed the way i saw you...
you know? :)
Birthdaygirl: yes. its quite sad really.
i really think i didnt do anything wrong..

I just like writing and well I do owe it to him to settle the score.
So here's something that I think is an appropriate reply to the "INDECENCY"

[From here on, you should read this as if a man, well a boy in man's body is speaking. Speaking to himself as he doesn't really engage into "serious" talks other than when he's drunk]

I loved her. I was in love.

But that means nothing now. There are things more important.

I've never really considered anyone in my future as it is uncertain with me alone.

I have dreams greater than myself right now.

It's hard enough to muster all that courage to move away from the comforts of my home, my family, just to step up to the responsibility bestowed on me.

I don't want to leave anymore. I want to stay here.

Everyone has ambitions. Everyone has dreams. But not everyone is willing to take the risk and make things happen. There is one thing I am sure of in my life, and everything else, including my life, would have to wait.

See, I never really wanted to hurt her. Not any of them. NOT HER.

But seeing her that night changed so much. It made me realize –this is it. This is the end. So, I just let go.

And although people perceive me in such a way, I choose not to talk. Not my style, really.

Weather is going to be cold in a couple of months..I just hope my dream is bigger than my emotions

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You know how it is when you watch movies, romantic flicks and all that sorts? You want to scream at the TV… “Why don’t you just say it kase!”

Well apparently, things don’t work that way.

Words get lost in the actions we choose. We really do become the people we project to be.

What I see here is a boy struggling with his dreams, with a ghost of loved one and immense pressure and a taint of doubt.

On the other end is a girl, in love with what was, loving someone she can't.

She writes on her journal: if people walk out of your life they should have enough decency to stay out. if not, at least have enough self-respect to keep them out.

--------------------------It is a mantra we have to keep telling ourselves.

It is all a matter of perspectives here. Have you read my favorite blog?
A guise of smile